|Dorset's NVC Journey|
Welcome to the nvcworks! Website
I am excited to share a journey with you, a journey that invites us to focus our awareness on our communication.
The process of Nonviolent Communication was created by Dr Marshal Rosenberg, an American psychologist and mediator who was a student of Carl Rogers. He was fascinated by what drives some people to love giving compassionately while others seem to delight in causing others pain. He found that connection between people is maintained and enhanced if we concentrate on two things – what is alive in each of us (our feelings and needs), and what can we do to make life more wonderful.
I have had a life-long interest in the psychology of relationships and a longing to understand the roots of emotion. In the nineties this led me to become a counselor, hypnotherapist and neuro-linguistic programming practitioner, specializing in the field of codependency. During this time I was working in at the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland giving week long intensive workshops on codependency and the dynamics of intimacy. Many participants were couples who were on the verge of breaking up, and came to the residential as a last hope.
I researched every conflict resolution process I could find and in 1999 I went to a one day introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) followed by a two day Mediation Workshop with the founder of NVC – Dr Marshall Rosenberg. I was struck by the elegant simplicity of the process, but more by the understanding that the root of all my feelings was about whether my needs were being met or not. Simply put, if I was happy it was because my needs were being met, and if I was unhappy it was because my needs were not being met.
Two years later I was facilitating a Dynamics of Intimacy Workshop in Ireland and I was invited to do a mediation between a group of African refugees living in a hostel in Kilkenny and the local Irish volunteers that were looking after and supporting the refugees. I had done no more training of any sort in NVC other than the 3 days, done 2 years before, so I declined the invitation because of my lack of experience. The Irish lady volunteer who invited me to mediate persuaded me because three women had been hit in ten days and she was so afraid it would happen again and she was desperate.
I mediated between the elected leader of the Africans and the leader of the Irish. When they entered the room they could not look at or face each other. After two hours I saw them actually look at each other and I took this to be a good sign.
Then they turned to me. The Irishman looked puzzled and said “How did you do that?”
I replied that it was a process I had learned called NVC. The African looked at me and said, “My people need to learn this!”, and the Irish man looked at him and said “My people too!”
Then he looked at me and said “When can we learn this? Can you teach us?”
Two days later I delivered my first NVC training – to 26 Irish volunteers, and 25 Africans – and after which I was thanked officially by the Irish government refugee council.
Well, I was hooked. I always wanted to actually do something to create more peace in the world and this was how I was going to do it. I went straight to Switzerland to do a ten day NVC intensive training with M. Rosenberg.
Having never had a relationship in my life last more than 3 years I have now been in a relationship for 10 years, I put the longevity of my present relationship entirely down to my practice and teaching of NVC.
So it is a joy to share something that has made such a difference to the quality of my life.
My deepest longing is that you get as much out of this process as I have.
Dorset Campbell-Ross NVC Trainer, Mediator and Coach